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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24546526">take your time (take care to hide it)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordcatchers/pseuds/wordcatchers'>wordcatchers</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Mentioned Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra), Past Child Abuse, Post-Canon, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, The Fright Zone (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:48:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24546526</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordcatchers/pseuds/wordcatchers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>where they’d grown up had taken on a shimmering quality, nature and greenery pervading every inch of space, though the metallic base had been shined, so that when it did come through, it only gave off the smallest physical reminders of what this place had been. the alleys and streetways were flush with a life that hadn’t existed in the fright zone only a couple of years ago. it definitely had a new coat covering up what her eyes had known differently.</p>
<p>edges of memories crept through, though, despite the work the rebellion had done.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>take your time (take care to hide it)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>title comes from the lyrics of "thousands of summer twilights" by owsey</p>
<p>it's been like, what, three weeks? and i still can't get over this show y'all</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey, Adora,” she murmured, lightly tracing the backside of a clawed finger over the curve of Adora’s cheek. A glimmer of the dawning sun filtered through the silk curtains surrounding their bed in Bright Moon. Yawning, Catra smoothed loose strands of Adora’s hair away from her still closed eyes. The faint smell of breakfast cooking wafted into their room from the crack under their door, and Catra found herself softly whining, something that she never meant to do, because it always stirred Adora awake. But she couldn’t stop an instinct.</p>
<p>On the trailing end of her whine, Adora did as always: eyes cracking open, blinking slowly until the expanse of blue fully met Catra’s mismatched yellow and blue. She smiled as small waking noises escaped her, and as she stretched her arms above her head, Catra leaned down, loose hair brushing against Adora’s cheek, and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips.</p>
<p>“Morning, love,” Adora whispered the moment their lips parted. Catra purred at the term of endearment, but purred even louder as Adora reached up and ran the pad of her thumb over her cheekbone. She breathed in Adora’s scent, then turned back to her side of their bed, letting her bare feet rest on the floor. As she tapped her toes against the cool granite, the weight of the bed shifted behind her and vanished entirely as Adora got up.</p>
<p>They both had stretching routines; Adora was much more forthright, wasting next to no time before commencing them after putting her clothes on for the day. Catra, after dressing herself, sometimes waited until Adora finished, enjoying the view of her girlfriend’s taut muscles. Adora loved to show off for her, anyway. But today she felt a growl rising in the back of her throat, and after her own slow, agile stretches, she pounced on Adora, nipping at her for play-wrestling.</p>
<p>
  <em> Like when we were kids. </em>
</p>
<p>Adora giggled, pushing back, force on force, until suddenly the bedroom door slammed open. Pausing in the midst, they both turned, finding Scorpia blinking in their general direction. They glanced back at each other and quickly released their hands: Catra’s letting go of Adora’s side and shoulder, and Adora removing her hands from Catra’s forearm and bicep. They didn’t move any further away from each other, though.</p>
<p>Scorpia, blushing furiously, mumbled something incomprehensible, but Catra noticed something off, familiar yet unfamiliar magic not from Etheria: <em> Melog. </em>They appeared from behind Scorpia, mewling as they bounded over to them both.</p>
<p>Adora quickly pushed herself away as Melog crashed into Catra, laughing. As she rolled around on the floor with them, Catra looked over, finding Scorpia forgetting the prior situation she'd walked in on, and Adora now standing next to her, smiling sweetly over at her and Melog.</p>
<p>“Thanks for the diversion,” Catra whispered to them as they came to a stop against the frame of her and Adora’s bed. Melog rumbled next to her throat, licking at her jawline affectionately.</p>
<p>Ears perking up at the sound of footsteps approaching her, Catra’s tail perked up, swishing lightly. <em> Adora</em>. She didn’t need to look, she only accepted the kiss that her girlfriend pressed to the crown of her head, gently wrapping her tail around Adora’s shin for a moment. With Adora’s help, she got up to her feet and wrapped an arm around Adora’s shoulders as they made their way back over to the door.</p>
<p>“So, Scorpia, what’s the occasion?” she said, smirking fondly.</p>
<p>Scorpia cleared her throat. “I, uh,” she paused, breathed in, and said in that one breath out, “You know I’m bad at lying please just come with me!” She fiddled with her pincers in front of her chest, eyes darting between the two of them. Catra folded her arms over her chest and groaned, but immediately stopped when Adora bumped shoulders with her.</p>
<p>“Truly, I’m shocked they hadn’t realized we already know,” Catra bluffed a minute later as they made their way down Bright Moon’s long expanses of hallways, filled with royal murals and guards and other installations that she had long grown used to as the norm here whenever they stayed.</p>
<p>Scorpia and Adora both looked at her oddly, and the former said, “Wildcat? What do you mean?”</p>
<p><em> Wildcat. </em>Catra slid her lower lip over her sharp canines, side-eyeing Adora. She’d repurposed that nickname for their own, in private, and somehow she could never hear it the same, but hadn’t the heart to tell Scorpia. Adora noisily cleared her throat and took Catra’s hand, her warmth a comfort as she suddenly felt a guard’s - new recruit, surely - wary gaze pass over her entire body. The fur on her tail puffed out, but she shook it off as she squeezed Adora’s hand.</p>
<p>It’d been two years since they had defeated Horde Prime, but time alone wasn’t enough for everyone to forget what side she had been on for most of the war. Or at least forgive, since forgetting, as she knew from her memories of the Horde, was near impossible. Even if Adora was her girlfriend and always vouched for her, she knew she’d meet resistance even years down the line. She’d accepted it, as long as she had Adora and a few others by her side, but it didn’t take away the apprehension, nor the panic attacks as Perfuma had called them during their “sessions of spiritual communion.” (It had taken weeks for her to listen to Perfuma calling them that before she hadn’t scoffed at it. Externally.)</p>
<p>“I’ve got great hearing, if you didn’t already know,” she said, increasing her bluff.</p>
<p>Scorpia sighed in relief. “Oh good, keeping that front up was...” she trailed off, dragging her pincers along the ground as they got closer to the council room. Catra caught Adora pat-patting Scorpia’s back in sympathy, and she shrugged in Adora’s direction. Adora reassured Scorpia that she’d done well, since she was obviously better at the whole being-warm-towards-others thing. Catra was <em> warmer </em>than she had been, but Adora was off the charts, always had been.</p>
<p>It was something she’d once envied her for, but now… she didn’t envy Adora a thing. They’d saved the universe two years ago, and had since then brought magic back to several planets, and Catra knew despite anything anyone else said, <em> her </em> main role was to try and keep Adora grounded. Nothing was worth sacrificing herself for, and needless to say, her weakness for Catra’s purring, for <em> Catra</em>, gave her an advantage in pulling Adora back down to the soil beneath their feet.</p>
<p>She sidled up next to Adora now, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, and craned her neck to nuzzle at Adora’s, purring softly.</p>
<p>“You ready, Adora?” she said, voice low. The other woman’s skin shivered beneath her, but she let the reaction slide, listening to Adora shake it off with laughter.</p>
<p>“For anything, Catra, even if they’ve decided to engage us themselves.”</p>
<p>Catra’s breath hitched. <em> Engagement. </em>Before her brain completely short-circuited, Scorpia swooped in and picked the both of them up, one cradled in each arm. She kicked the door open to the council room, and they were met with roughly a dozen faces and a banner above the table that read, “THE DELIGHT ZONE GRAND OPENING ADVENTURE!”</p>
<p>Okay, they had <em> never </em>discussed this. She should have pushed harder for Scorpia to play her cards completely. She wasn’t stupid; she’d known they were demolishing most of the Fright Zone and completely remodeling other parts, “cleansing it” as they’d put it so Scorpia could have her own kingdom back. Catra had only gone back a few times during the process for council reasons she couldn't get herself out of, and if memory served her right, Adora hadn’t gone back many more times than that. Each time she’d come back with old memories haunting her, and each time she and Adora had been left with emotions they couldn’t express in words.</p>
<p>She doubted a new coat on traumatic memories could make them any less traumatic.</p>
<p>But here she was, getting swept into this, swept <em> away </em> from Adora as they sat on opposite sides of the council table, bombarded with a plan to go to this “Delight Zone” for part of the day. Her tail flicked back and forth in agitation as she tried to control her breathing through her nose. She was <em> supposed </em> to act like she’d known about these plans all along. A childish part of herself wanted to run, but that was something else she’d been working on. Not running at the first sign of distress. Instead she slightly scratched the underside of the table with her claws; it was a wonder she hadn’t ruined it entirely over the past two years.</p>
<p>A warm hand rested on her left shoulder. She glanced over and was met with Perfuma’s dark eyes.</p>
<p>“Well,” Perfuma started, clearly about to repeat something she’d never even heard. “Did you want to go with the first group or the second?”</p>
<p>Biting back a caustic comment about how she hadn’t been asked if she wanted to go <em> at all</em>, Catra blew some of her hair that’d fallen in her face and crossed her arms in front of her chest on instinct.</p>
<p>“If I have to choose… the first one. Get it over with,” she said, trying to sound as flippant as possible.</p>
<p>“Uh-uh,” Scorpia’s booming voice commanded over the table. “Not before breakfast!” Catra rolled her eyes, flicking her ears slightly to the side, casting her gaze on an equally enthusiastic-about-food Adora. That woman could eat an entire army’s worth of food, then work it all off within the day. Her ears perked up at the sight of Adora’s shimmering eyes as the staff brought in platters of breakfast food for them.</p>
<p>She hadn’t asked which group Adora was going in, but if Adora was anything like, well, <em> Adora</em>, she charged headfirst into things. Typically Catra was always behind her, sniffing situations out, careful, cautious. But today, she hoped she’d get to be right beside Adora.</p>
<p>Surprisingly, the meal went down easily for the most part, as she lost herself in the conversations around her. Mermista and Sea Hawk had traveled from Salineas, only arriving late the previous evening, and they were <em> still </em> the most sickeningly sweet couple, probably even more so due to exhaustion removing any filters they had. She couldn’t watch them feed each other bits of muffins for more than a few seconds before averting her eyes to Frosta, who had somehow gotten into making tiny sculptures for Entrapta in the past several months. (Granted, she also derived pleasure out of smashing her “imperfect” ones against whatever hard surface was nearby.)</p>
<p>Hordak still didn’t eat with them. He and Wrong Hordak (now known as Kadroh), instead, split time learning and involving themselves with the cultures of Etheria, and as for Hordak alone, doing whatever difficult work no one else particularly wanted to do, always with watching eyes on him. Adora promised Hordak that after a few years, he’d be free to pursue his own path if he showed signs of progress. So long as he never showed regression into who he <em> had </em>been.</p>
<p>Scorpia sat next to Perfuma, their typical flower vase in front of them. After the emotional high of the war ending, it’d taken some time for Scorpia to be <em> completely </em> all right with Catra, but the least among any of the princesses, despite everything she had done to her, everything she'd <em>said </em>to her, in the Fright Zone.</p>
<p>Catra shoveled a sizeable amount of scrambled eggs into her mouth after she saw Scorpia doing it, and couldn’t help the smirk that came over her when Scorpia noticed, winking as they entered into a short-lived competition of who could stuff the largest amount of food in their mouth at one time without choking. It was a welcome distraction, but nothing compared to what she heard as she failed spectacularly at defeating Scorpia: Adora’s laughter, like a caress against her velvety ears.</p>
<p>“You two are so <em> stupid </em>!” her girlfriend said between bursts of laughter, tears prickling at the edges of her eyes. Ears leaning forward, Catra didn’t register a bit of egg fall from her mouth back onto her plate until Bow and Glimmer made the most fake-sounding gag noises.</p>
<p>Better to embrace it all; she took a bit of uneaten egg and flung it at the queen and master archer, nearly sparking a food fight if not for Micah and Castaspella taking control of the situation with their fluid spellwork, freezing everyone for a space of several seconds. When they loosened their grip on everyone, Catra shivered, reminded of Shadow Weaver if only for a moment. They’d used their powers to take control of a situation, not to take control of <em> her </em> for their own sick manipulations.</p>
<p>Perfuma’s warm hand rested on her thigh, squeezing gently. It was something she’d started doing a few weeks after the war ended, once Catra had allowed it, finally experiencing the benefits of therapeutic touch and applied pressure. The flower princess was naturally touchy-feely, making her a <em> great </em>partner for Scorpia, but she knew her stuff beyond plants, too. Though Catra no longer purred when Perfuma did this sort of stuff, she felt her anxieties start to melt away.</p>
<p>Turning her head slightly towards her, Catra whispered, “Thanks.”</p>
<p>“No problem,” Perfuma said softly, a pleasing and comforting lilt to her voice.</p>
<p>After scraping up every last crumb off her plate, Catra yawned, stretching again before following the others outside. Adora waited at the door for her, stretching a hand out that she instantly took, taking a moment to nuzzle up against the crook of Adora’s neck again.</p>
<p>“You ready?” Adora asked as their vehicle, a re-purposed Horde skiff, settled to a low hover on the grounds of Bright Moon. Scorpia, Perfuma, Glimmer, Bow, and Micah had already climbed on, settling into seats; Catra’s tail swished, of course Kyle was driving. Sitting next to Adora, still holding her hand, Kyle took off, taking them through the route they’d built to connect Bright Moon to the “Delight Zone.” It took them through the Whispering Woods, who, being a living, breathing, magical being, hadn’t taken kindly to travelers for so long.</p>
<p>Razz had aided them in calming the woods through Etherian magic, long misplaced, but now a steadily developing field of research. Most of the time now, the woods welcomed travelers, however rescue missions were still sent out a few times each season.</p>
<p>They were always one of the traveling groups that never had a problem with the woods. Likely because Adora was, well, <em> She-Ra</em>, and it always helped that they typically had other princesses on their rides. The Whispering Woods held a fondness for princesses, though that was also something rather new. Catra figured that it definitely helped that she and Adora had made their permanent home in the woods, creating a small house for themselves in the canopies.</p>
<p>What used to be a broad, lifeless expanse of land on the other side of the woods had also been transformed by She-Ra’s healing powers: swathes of tall green grasses, flowering shrubs, fruit trees, ponds and lakes that had once only been empty craters, and small villages dotted the landscape leading the way to the gigantic crater that used to be her and Adora’s home, before the fractures that led to the climax of the war they’d been born into. </p>
<p>It was true that both She-Ra and the rebellion had nearly made the Fright Zone unrecognizable, but on instinct, Catra tightened her hold on Adora’s hand as Kyle took them up to the landing dock, looking nothing like it had, but the skeleton remained. Perfuma had helped her so much, but… <em>exposure</em> is what she’d called it, and Catra had left their time together hissing, refusing to properly go back and face everything she’d known growing up. She’d <em> come back</em>, but she hadn’t dwelt on it, and they’d been extremely short excursions.</p>
<p>She knew this was certainly affecting Adora as well, however strong of a front she always put up. They’d talked about Shadow Weaver, unsure of how to process, only sure that she never deserved their forgiveness. But she wouldn't press her girlfriend.</p>
<p>Adora tugged her forward, grip never lessening. She sought solace in her while the others led the way into the “reformed” Fright Zone.</p>
<p>“I’m never calling it… what they did,” Catra muttered so only Adora could hear her.</p>
<p>“I’m sure it’s only temporary,” Adora supplied hopefully.</p>
<p>“Knowing Scorpia, we’ll have to force her hand.”</p>
<p>Adora groaned, but there was a playful smile on her face. “Some things never change, do they?”</p>
<p>Snickering, taken away from the present for a moment, Catra poked the space between Adora’s eyebrows. “You’re such an idiot.”</p>
<p>“Your idiot,” Adora said, her gaze so gentle that Catra unconsciously started to purr before remembering where they were, before recognizing the direction Scorpia was leading them in. Why was she taking them to the barracks? She somehow still knew this pathway like the back of her hand, and her fur stood on end, claws extending all the way, barely restraining herself from baring her fangs. She’d let go of Adora’s hand before accidentally puncturing her skin with her claws, and swatted her away before she hurt her.</p>
<p>“Catra--” Adora started, reaching out for her shoulder, but Scorpia’s booming voice interrupted.</p>
<p>“Catra, Adora, and Kyle already know this, but these,” she said, gesturing behind her with a pincer, “used to be the cadets’ barracks. Basically communal living with terrible bunk beds, but not as fun as it might sound,” Scorpia clarified, Catra’s slitted eyes flicking about and noticing some of the confusion towards the terminology. Of course the rebellion wouldn’t have ever lived like the Horde had, at least on purpose and for years on end. She didn’t shake Adora’s hand off her shoulder this time, only leaned into it as Scorpia continued.</p>
<p>Where they’d grown up had taken on a shimmering quality, nature and greenery pervading every inch of space, though the metallic base had been shined, so that when it did come through, it only gave off the smallest physical reminders of what this place had been. The alleys and streetways were flush with a life that hadn’t existed in the Fright Zone only a couple of years ago. It definitely had a new coat covering up what her eyes had known differently.</p>
<p>Edges of memories crept through, though, despite the work the rebellion had done. She shivered under Adora’s strong grip, and she faintly heard Adora ask her if she wanted to leave. Shrugging her girlfriend’s hand off her, she shook her head.</p>
<p>“How can you say that?” she half-hissed, her eyes piercing Adora’s as the others continued several steps ahead. “That’d be like… admitting they won. That <em> she </em>won.” Her head dropped, voice softening, but she let Adora’s fingers rest under her chin, gentle pressure until she was looking back into Adora’s blue eyes.</p>
<p>“What do you want to do, then?” Adora asked her.</p>
<p>Catra crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, the idea that popped into her head taking a vice grip hold over her, causing a light flush to cross her cheeks. “We’re too good for the standard tour. Make our own?” she offered the decision over to Adora, extending a hand out, claws retracted. <em> Make it safe</em>, words left unsaid, still hovering in the air between them.</p>
<p>Adora’s fingers wrapping around her hand still brought a comfort she never could find elsewhere.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” Adora said.</p>
<p>Laughter followed their footsteps around their old home, the sounds of Etherian children playing. Something they’d not done explicitly in the open, so unashamedly. The times Shadow Weaver had scolded her for keeping Adora from… <em> everything</em>, but it’d only fueled her into stealing more of Adora’s time, because Adora’s laughter meant the world to her. Then, and now, and always, she thought as she pulled on her girlfriend’s hand, pushing past the memories of Shadow Weaver to focus on spotting where they’d used to play the most.</p>
<p>She no longer had to “steal” Adora away, she was… hers. Even if they were sometimes apart during the day, every night… Every single night they curled up together on the same bed. If she was with her during the days, that was even better. </p>
<p>Tracing their way through familiar yet altogether unfamiliar pathways, the found themselves circling until, giggling at how lost they were in a place they should know so well, they reached a hidden alcove in what used to be a cadet training area. Catra’s eyes widened as Adora playfully, unknowingly, pushed her inside, memory flashing back to when it’d been <em> theirs </em> years ago, a hideaway they’d found and claimed as their own. The same single bare light bulb they’d hooked up hung from the ceiling, and she climbed over debris to switch it on.</p>
<p>“Even the rebellion hasn’t found this,” she whispered, almost reverently, head turning to look back at Adora. A soft smile appeared on Adora’s face, and she joined her under the light, pressing their bodies flush against each other, resting her head on Catra’s shoulder. She started to purr, another of her unbidden reactions, an instinct that she used to hate that she couldn’t control, but now treasured.</p>
<p>“You’ve got a <em> tell</em>, Catra,” Bow had teasingly said the first time he’d been around to plainly hear it after the war. She’d swished her tail in annoyance, but stopped the instant she heard Adora’s bright laughter like a soothing chime. Purring even louder, she’d blushed and hidden her face in the crook of Adora’s neck, her ears flicking back at the sound of Bow’s footsteps fading away.</p>
<p>Underneath the light bulb now, she let herself lean into the instinct, wrapping her tail around Adora’s waistline, relishing how Adora’s short fingernails trailed over her scalp. She could stay here forever, she thought, but of course they weren’t the only two people in all of Etheria, and they couldn’t stay gone too long. Though the war was over, Adora was still She-Ra, Princess of Power, and she, well, she’s Catra and that was enough. More than enough, Adora loved to remind her whenever she still had doubts.</p>
<p>“Race you to our platform?” Adora asked, a teasing, daring lilt to her voice.</p>
<p>“If you’re ready for me to beat you there!” she said, voice rising as she took off before finishing the sentence, sticking her tongue out at Adora. She heard “<em>cheater!” </em>echo off the metallic walls of the hallways, followed by laughter that she knew so well and adored like nothing else. Adora’s footsteps caught up to her quickly, and she turned her head, jaw dropping.</p>
<p>“No fair! You can’t turn into She-Ra!”</p>
<p>Adora… <em> She-Ra </em>… laughed, and flashed back into Adora as she said, “If you can get a head start, I can transform to catch up, dummy!”</p>
<p>Flattening her ears against her head, Catra stuck her tongue out again and simply picked up the pace. Adora was right beside her, and she playfully bumped shoulders with her until they wound up pouncing on each other, rolling around on the softer floors now covered in a few layers of moss and grass. This area of the Fright Zone had undergone the most transformation, considering it’d been part of the quadrant she and Hordak had… fought in, she suddenly realized. Flashes of his wide laser beam, the explosions, racketed through her mind, and she froze in position, staring through Adora, lips cracked open, vision glazing over.</p>
<p>“Catra?” she heard her name pierce through the haze. Shaking her head, she sat up, looked around, settling on Adora’s concerned face before a red glow over her shoulder distracted her. Should have realized… her fur standing on end, she instinctively felt her teeth bare themselves, fingers raking over her face at her stupidity. Only Adora’s hands on her shoulders pulled her back. Her brow furrowed, wishing she’d thought to bring Melog with her, but they had grown more independent over the years, and she’d needed them less and less and… Old yet familiar feelings of abandonment fought within her, clawing, dragging <em> her </em>name back to the surface.</p>
<p>Adora turned her head, catching sight of the red glow, then moved back to look at Catra, eyes softening, realization: <em> the Black Garnet chamber.  </em></p>
<p>For all the work she’d done with Perfuma, Shadow Weaver still proved the sorest spot, the oldest wound, stretching back over a decade and a half. For all that Perfuma talked up something about exposure, and how it might help her <em> process </em> everything related to Shadow Weaver, Catra had continued avoiding it. Facing it. Dealing with it head on. It was easier to pretend, talking about it abstractly instead of… this.</p>
<p>Standing up, Catra balled her hands into fists. She started slightly when Adora was suddenly there again, standing in front of her, wrapping her hands around her fists, tugging slightly.</p>
<p>“We can go,” Adora said. “If you want. Our platform isn’t far from here.”</p>
<p><em>“No.”</em> Catra hadn’t meant to sound so harsh; she bit her tongue and rested a hand on one of Adora’s forearms, softly trailing finger pads over the other woman’s sleeve, pressing gently as she went. “I’m sorry… I’m still working on it, you know.” She winced. “My anger.”</p>
<p>Adora smiled and clasped their hands together. “I’m coming with you.”</p>
<p><em> Of course you are, you dummy, </em>she thought, but only smiled back at her girlfriend before making their way into the Black Garnet chamber. The runestone glowed a brilliant red: Scorpia’s stone, not Shadow Weaver’s. Their foster mother, their commander, had manipulated it into giving her some of its power, perverted it from its intention. Catra’s tail jerked back and forth in an irregular rhythm, but calmed as Adora rested a hand on the small of her back, slightly above said tail.</p>
<p>Looking over at Adora, she saw something flash across her blue eyes, across her face, something she’d come to realize was Adora’s own memories, own pain, resurfacing. They’d both been hurt, been <em> abused </em>here, however much the word still strangled in her throat whenever she tried to say it. But Perfuma, Scorpia, all of them were right: Shadow Weaver had abused her and Adora. Adora, primed to always perform for their mother figure, always expected to outshine and never let anything hold her back or distract her, the golden child with the crushing weight of expectations. She’d messed with both of their psyches, and right now, Catra wrapped her tail around Adora’s waist, brought a hand up to the far side of Adora’s face, resting a palm on her cheek, turning her to look directly into her eyes.</p>
<p>They were such a brilliant blue.</p>
<p>“I’ve always loved them, you know... your eyes,” she’d murmured into the crook of Adora’s neck on one of the first nights they’d laid together in Adora’s bed at Bright Moon after the war had ended. And she still felt the same way about them, but seeing them expressing the pain they did now… Catra hated it. She pressed their foreheads together, remembering the comfort both of them got from the simple prolonged touch.</p>
<p>“Tell me what’s going through your mind,” she said softly, running fingers through Adora’s loose hair. It’d been such a long time now since she’d put it up in a ponytail everyday.</p>
<p>Adora’s breath hitched, and she wrapped Catra up in an embrace. Catra felt the weight of Adora’s head resting on her left shoulder, and only thanks to her enhanced hearing, heard Adora’s whispered words: “I miss her, but I hate her. But I…” she trailed off, and Catra could practically hear the hum of a storm brewing in Adora’s mind. She pulled Adora closer, ensuring that any space between their bodies vanished.</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t I be over this?” Adora’s voice cracked. “It’s been <em> two years</em>.”</p>
<p>Pressing a kiss to Adora’s collarbone, Catra pulled away and caught Adora’s eyes. Was Adora still seeing Perfuma like she was? She remembered successfully suggesting it to Adora after Perfuma had brought it up a few weeks after the war ended, and remembered talking with Perfuma together several times, but after some time… they’d stopped going together. And she’d never asked Perfuma about it.</p>
<p>“Hey,” she said, cupping Adora’s cheek with one of her hands, stroking a patch of skin with the pad of her thumb, “Tell me you’re still seeing Perfuma.”</p>
<p>Adora’s eyes widened, then as if on auto-pilot, said, “I’m still… seeing Perfuma?”</p>
<p>Groaning, Catra pressed an index finger against Adora’s lips. “I didn’t mean <em> repeat after me</em>, Adora. Are you seeing her still?” She narrowed her eyes as she noticed Adora suddenly looking away, towards the floor, and the end of her tail flicked back and forth at the sound of her girlfriend’s feet shuffling. </p>
<p>“You’re not.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to burden--!” Adora clapped a hand over her mouth, tears gathered at the corners of her shocked eyes, backing away from Catra. Catra immediately reached out, but Adora had already started running, quicker than she’d ever seen her. Her heart dropped in her chest, and she felt it cracking, but she ran, ran faster than she’d ever done in the past, and kept calling Adora’s name, following the ends of blonde hair that whipped around corners.</p>
<p>Eventually, nearly out of breath, she leaned against an entranceway. Everything was so <em> bright </em> and <em> green </em>and <em>light</em>, nothing looked the same, but this time she knew exactly where she’d been led. Countless times they’d come out here, either together or one trailing after the other, and in a myriad of situations and emotions. Memories patched through, snippets of her and Adora as small children, up until right before Adora had defected from the Horde. They’d laughed their way here, screamed, cried. Catra cast her gaze upward and to the right, catching sight of Adora’s legs swinging from the edge of their platform.</p>
<p>Running, then descending onto all four of her limbs, she scampered and leapt up with ease until she landed several feet behind from where Adora sat. Her ears twitched at the slight sound of Adora sniffling, and she hurried over to meet her where she sat.</p>
<p>“Thanks for not running,” was the first thing out of her mouth as she wrapped an arm around Adora. Adora laughed.</p>
<p>“But I did?” </p>
<p>Catra clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, her lips trembling, fighting a smile because Adora had <em> laughed</em>. “Whatever. I meant you heard me coming now, and didn’t run again. So… yeah, thanks. Even though you took <em> my </em>schtick, y’know.” Bumping against her side, she leaned over, resting her head on Adora’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I didn’t notice in time, before we...” she said, her voice quavering, betraying her. Ever since she’d spent time and <em> more </em> time with Perfuma (and sometimes Scorpia, as well), she’d gotten terrible at concealing her emotions like she had back when she was with the Horde. Like Bow had so cleverly said, she had <em> tells</em>. “But you <em> aren’t </em> a burden, Adora.” The word tasted sour as her mouth formed it, spoke it into existence again. Adora was the furthest thing from that, but she didn’t know how she could make her girlfriend see it. She could hear Perfuma in her head, though, telling her that that wasn’t her job. <em> Be there for each other, listen. </em></p>
<p>Adora turned to look at her, smiling without it quite reaching her eyes.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think coming here would do this to me, you know? I thought I was stronger.”</p>
<p>Reaching over with a hand, Catra captured the side of her face and stroked her temple with her fingers, claws retracted. Though she hated seeing Adora like this, she purred to soothe her, resting their foreheads together again.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be strong, Adora. But you are anyway. No matter,” --she paused, pressed a kiss to Adora’s cheek-- “what your mind tells you. You’re the strongest idiot I know, well, barring She-Ra.”</p>
<p>“Did you just call the savior of the universe an idiot?” Adora asked quizzically, eyebrow arched.</p>
<p>“Is that <em> really </em> all you got from that?” Catra pulled away from Adora and felt a barking laugh erupt from her throat, stupid tears gathering at the edges of her heterochromatic eyes, her hand curled into a fist as she slammed it against the grass beneath them. “Oh for princesses’ <em>sake </em>, Adora.”</p>
<p>Through her tears, confused at what emotion she was even supposed to be <em> feeling </em>anymore, Catra squinted up at Adora, taking her other hand and smooshing it right in the middle of Adora’s face. She growled slightly under her breath and said, “You’re just trying to shift the subject, aren’t you?” At that completely unintended prompting, a smooth tongue found its way licking across the light fur on Catra’s palm.</p>
<p>Jumping away, she restrained the confused hiss that threatened to escape her. Of course she’d licked <em> herself </em> before, but Adora doing it… they hadn’t really tried it. Until of course, <em> now,</em> at a terribly inopportune time. She grit her teeth and stood up, the hand in question massaging at the back of her neck.</p>
<p>“You’re always putting others’ needs before yourself, Adora,” she said, a strained tenderness coating her words. “Let <em> us </em> take care of you sometimes, all right? Let <em> me</em>. Shadow Weaver… she hurt us both.”</p>
<p>“But you had it wor--!” Adora started, but Catra cut her off, seamlessly bending down and placing her palm over her mouth again. Hoping she wouldn’t get licked again. Not right now.</p>
<p>She sighed, rubbing her cheek against Adora’s for a moment.</p>
<p>“Neither of us had it worse, darling,” she said. “<em>Everything </em> was a competition in the Horde, and you <em> know </em> how much I love beating you at things,” --a short, watery laugh from Adora at those words stirred something in her heart-- “But this? It’s <em> not </em> a competition. You were there when Perfuma said that to us.”</p>
<p>“You <em> know </em> I’m terrible at listening, Catra,” Adora said, leaning back, taking Catra’s face in. “But… I just… it’s like I’m stuck on a loop I can’t break out of.”</p>
<p>Catra quirked her head. “Have you talked to Perfuma or… anyone about it?”</p>
<p>Several thoughts ran through her mind: <em> you’ve been sleeping fine, you’ve seemed happy, content, past everything. </em> She couldn’t remember when Adora had stopped seeing Perfuma, only that at some point in the past few months they’d discontinued their few weeks of seeing her together. The end of her tail flicked slowly from side to side, ears flattening: how had she missed all of this? She heard echoes of Shadow Weaver in her thoughts, attempting to ensnare her like she was actually here: <em> you’re not good enough for-- </em>No. Stop.</p>
<p>Adora’s hand was roaming through her hair, winding its way back to her short ponytail, something new that Glimmer and Adora had talked her into. She shook her head.</p>
<p>“Only you, Catra.”</p>
<p>Forcing questioning herself to the side, Catra smiled. “Thanks for telling me. You know I’m gonna drag you back to Perfuma, right? Not even She-Ra can stop me.” Teasingly, she extended her claws back out all the way, swiping at the air between them.</p>
<p>Anything to get Adora to smile, really smile again. She laughed instead, the corners of her eyes crinkling, head falling forward onto Catra’s chest. Rolling her eyes, Catra lifted Adora under her arms and they both got to their feet again.</p>
<p>“As if you could best <em> She-Ra</em>,” Adora said through fits of laughter. Catra felt her entire face flush, remembering all the times she’d let She-Ra best <em> her </em> since the war had ended, and suddenly she wanted to dissolve into a puddle on the ground. Tail flicking back and forth like a violent pendulum, she took Adora’s hand as her girlfriend wiped tears from her eyes, mumbling something about <em> everyone must be waiting for us now, or worse, </em> looking <em> - come on! </em></p>
<p>They passed the Black Garnet chamber on their way back, a deep red glow spreading into the hallway. She gripped Adora’s hand a bit tighter, immediately feeling Adora squeeze back. The terror had long left the room and settled in their hearts, their memories; two years didn’t heal them completely from a childhood of separate and joined abuse. <em> Abuse. </em>Catra hadn’t heard the word until she’d left the Horde for good, and it still felt awkward whenever her brain or mouth formed the syllables.</p>
<p>Of course an entire regime built around abuse wouldn’t reveal the word to them. Those under the control of <em> princesses </em> were <em> manipulated </em> and <em> lied </em>to, not them. The Horde had cultivated their young minds, and if Shadow Weaver hadn’t been the perfect example for lying and manipulation when it came to her and Adora, Catra… She tore her spiraling thoughts away, focusing on Adora’s warm hand in hers. </p>
<p>What she didn’t notice before it happened was Adora slipping her hand away, only for a split second, then moving it to the top of the base of her tail, <em> stroking it</em>. Catra let out a squeak she hoped <em> no one </em> else had heard, heat rushing to her cheeks and outward from her abdomen. Gritting her teeth, she grumbled, “That will <em> not </em> make me forget what we talked about, Adora. I’m <em> still </em>talking to Perfuma.”</p>
<p>Adora leaned over, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I know. Just wanted to do it. You looked…”</p>
<p>“Like I needed it, <em> in public </em> ?” she jerked her tail away from Adora and quickly ran her hand over it, the fur settling back down. “You’re the <em> worst</em>, you know that?”</p>
<p>Giggling, Adora pulled her along, saying she’d spotted Glimmer’s hair, and of course, <em> Sparkles </em>would stand out even among the lush foliage that now covered the once groaning, harsh metal that had overshadowed their developmental years. Once they were in sight of the group, Bow called out to them, taking a moment to shoot up a colorful flare arrow.</p>
<p>“Bow!” Catra heard Glimmer exclaim, “You were supposed to fire that so they could find <em>us</em>, not after!” The master archer only shrugged and laughed, running the palm of his hand over the back of his head. </p>
<p>They were all idiots, Catra thought, herself rightfully included. As they headed back to the skiff, where Kyle was waiting for them, loitering around with Rogelio as Lonnie seemed to perpetually roll her eyes at them, she reminded herself: <em> talk to Perfuma</em>. Right now wasn’t the time, though, considering at least <em> she </em>had the decency to not bring up certain things in public. Granted, Adora stroking the base of her tail was one thing, and her talking to Perfuma about what had happened back in the Fright Zone was another, but still.</p>
<p>She wrapped her tail around herself tightly as they headed back to Bright Moon, giving Adora sneaking glances, glaring at her and swatting her hand away as the skiff skirted a few feet above the ground. Sure, every so often the others gave them odd looks, but she and Adora knew everyone was used to their antics by now.</p>
<p>Scorpia was probably the only one who understood how sensitive tails were to touch (barring Rogelio, who she still wasn’t that close to). Granted, Catra couldn’t<em> sting </em> people with hers, but Scorpia shared an understanding look with her after the skiff pulled into a stop in front of Bright Moon.</p>
<p>“Adora do something?” Scorpia whispered, leaning down next her ear as they stepped off the skiff. Before Catra could answer, though, Perfuma was on her other side, and this was best a time as any.</p>
<p>Grinning mischievously over her shoulder at Adora, she turned back to Perfuma and said, “You think you could squeeze some Adora time into your schedule? She’s kind of taking things out on my tail, and I don’t think that’s the <em> best </em>outlet for her.”</p>
<p>Yeah, she could still be catty. She was, after all, part feline, and she just <em> loved </em> it when Adora’s face scrunched up like it was now. And this time it was for a good reason and good cause: getting her girlfriend to <em> put herself first again, for princesses’ sake. </em>Even if she still needed some prodding to do it, it was worth it. Adora was always worth it.</p>
<p>Even if she knew what was coming, or not coming, tonight. The last thing she heard before face-planting into the grass was Adora shrieking her name. As she smiled into the blades of grass before turning around to face Adora, she knew that despite the ways they still had to go, they were better. And she’d be there for all the way forward.</p>
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